How long do you intend to be an asshole to your former spouse?
What your child has to say about your divorce
Every time I came home from the other parent's house I was grilled as to what they were doing. Both parents did this.
I watched my grandma and other relatives take sides and start bad-mouthing my dad.
I slowly grew to dislike both of my parents.
My parents seemed to forget I was alive because they were so focused on their anger.
I spent many nights lying in bed unable to sleep.
I never wanted to have friends over to my house anymore.
I spent a lot of time at my friends' houses because I didn't want to be home.
I worried about the future and what was going to happen.
I learned what depression felt like and I was only 7 years old.
My parents never knew how I felt because they didn't seem to care most of the time and if they ever asked me, I would lie since I didn't want to add to their burdens.
I quit studying in school because I just didn't care anymore.
I thought about running away from home.
I hated being in the middle of their war.
I couldn't talk to either of my parents because they were on edge all the time and got angry easily.
My dad would get mad at my mother and take it out on me.
I hated seeing my mom or dad with another person.
More Typical Comments From Children of Divorce
I started thinking about ways to stop the sadness by killing myself. I knew neither parent would care.
I was only 16 but I thought if I could get a boy to take me away from all of this that would be my escape.
I couldn't ask either parent for anything because they would snap at me since there wasn't enough money anymore.
I told my mom that I wanted to see my dad on Father's Day and she gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the day.
If I told my Dad that Mom was having a problem with something at the house he would bark at me that it was her problem not his.
Neither parent was at all interested in what was happening to me at school.
My little brother would come into my room after we went to bed because he was scared and lonely.
I didn't have any money for a school field trip but I was afraid to ask for it.
I noticed my friends at school quit talking to me.
Both of my parents asked me to take their side and I didn't.
And More
Looking back, what was amazing was that my parents never seemed to notice what effect their fighting and conflict was having on my sisters and me.
My brothers and I became closer as our parents argued and spoke poorly about each other in front of us kids. We all slowly grew to hate our parents at the same time.
I sure saw my parents in a different light. I mean, before the divorce I thought my parents were the smartest people in the world and that they loved me more than anything. Watching their divorce destroyed that perception. I saw my parents as small, mean-spirited people. I lost all respect for both of them.
I am old enough now that I have experienced being dumped by a (girl friend / boy friend) and the hurt that that kind of break up causes. But finding out that my parents didn't really love me enough to stop fighting each other was much more painful and long lasting. I got over breaking up with my (girl friend / boy friend) eventually but I will never get over my parents' divorce.
"Children begin by loving their parents; As they grow older they judge them; Sometimes they forgive them."
If you are an asshole, obviously you will continue to be an asshole. If you are a person of universal faith, then it is time to feel the what the universe is giving you. It is time to stop damaging the future of your children.